Dial Up
by Verity Grahams
Summary: Ron wants to prank Dudley, but to do that Harry must first teach Ron about Dial-up Internet


**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

**Written for The Houses Competition**

**House:** **Hufflepuff**

**Position:** **Prefect**

**Category:** **Drabble**

**Prompt:** **[Action] Learning to surf the internet as a witch/wizard**

**Word count:** **897**

**Written for The Golden Snitch Forum**

**School:** **Hogwarts**

**House:** **Hufflepuff**

**Challenge:**** Ollivander's Wand Shop**

**Prompt:****Cypress: Write about a Pureblood.**

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Dial-up

Harry Potter sat with his family in the living room, which was strange because Harry never spent time with his relatives. They were unbearable, and Muggles, unlike Harry. His Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia had been bragging all morning about their new dial-up internet and about Dudley being such a whiz. Harry knew that Dudley only ever went on an internet chatroom, usually talking about the kids that he had beaten up that day.

Harry was forcing himself to endure this torture because he was waiting for the single best people in the world – the Weasleys. Harry would be attending the finals of the Quidditch World Cup. Ron had told him during their extensive correspondence, which was mostly about homework and Dudley being a pain in the arse.

Them arriving had been hilarious. They tried to travel via Floo, but the Dursleys had an electric fire—something that they were _very_ proud of—and the Weasleys had ended up trapped behind it, and had to blast their way out! It was as Arthur—Ron's dad—was trying to calm his relatives down that Harry and Ron were sent to collect his things from his room.

"Since we have the time." Ron smirked. "Why don't we get your cousin back? We could leave these toffees in his room." Ron had a wicked gleam in his eye as he held out something called '_Ton-Tongue Toffee_.'

"I have a better, more _Muggle,_ idea." Harry smiled.

With that, Harry led Ron into Dudley's room.

"Erm, what's this?" Ron asked, confused.

"It's a computer, and with it we can connect to the internet!" Harry smiled evilly.

"I don't get it, what's that going to do?" Ron asked.

"Dudley uses it to talk to his friends, and if I reply to some messages, they'll think it's Dudley."

Harry turned on the modem, and instantly a strange sequence of noises filled the room.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Ron asked, backing even further away.

"It's just dialling up," Harry explained.

"_Dialling up_?"

"Yea, through the phone line."

"That's a _fellytone_?" Ron asked, confused.

"No, it just uses the— you know what, never mind. It's connecting to the internet, and everyone else who is connected to it, all around the world."

"Everyone in the world?" Ron asked, amazed. "You can speak to anyone in the world? But how do they hear you?"

"They don't, you type what you want them to read," Harry explained. He was used to explaining to Ron about the Muggle world, but the internet, that was new and interesting to him too.

"Show me," Ron asked suspiciously.

"It won't be long, it's actually pretty quick. It only takes ten minutes to connect to the world wide web!" Harry grinned, looking amazed.

"If a Wizard invented something like this it would work a lot faster. This is taking ages!"

"It's not, it's very quick considering. Trust me, Ron, it's worth the wait!"

Eventually, the strange beeps and squeals of the modem ceased –they were connected.

"Okay, sit down, Ron!" Harry said, spinning in a circle on the computer chair, coming to a stop right in front of the screen. "This is the _Official Smeltings Chatroom_!" he declared.

"It's just a load of writing," Ron said, bored.

"See anything with the name '_Big D_'? Well, that's everything that Dudley is saying to his friends."

"He calls himself: '_Big D'_?" Ron sniggered. "Can we change that?"

"Of course." Harry brought up Dudley's profile. He showed Ron how to use the keyboard, mouse, and then got up to collect his already packed trunk.

"So I just type whatever I want, I just press the button that has the right letter?" Ron asked. "And I click with _Scabbers_ where I want the writing to go?"

"It's not a rat, Ron! It's a computer mouse!" Harry laughed.

"Same thing," Ron mumbled as he began typing.

It took Ron a while to get used to the keyboard, but once he got the hang of it, he was off. He changed the name on the profile to: _Diddykins_. He wrote a very heartfelt biography, he really got into how Dudley felt on a variety of subjects, including, but not limited to, kittens. He found a little box that said: 'Relationship Status', after clarifying what that meant, he speedily changed it to 'single'. Then there was the section that said 'Sexual Orientation'. Since Ron wasn't sure what this meant, he figured that Dudley wouldn't be too sure, either!

Harry found all of Ron's additions to be more than satisfactory, but Harry knew that they needed more. Before logging off, he posted a public message:

_Hi Everyone, _

_Diddykins here! I'm planning a night of fun! I think a sleepover would be fab, we can get some lovely facial masks, healthy smoothies—we got to watch our figures—and some awesome TV and movies… ALL NIGHT. We can indulge in some of our faves. Piers, we all know you love My Little Pony, so that is at the top of the list. As for me, Powerpuff Girls. I aspire to be as cute as Bubbles! Everyone needs to bring PJ's, sleeping bag, and their _fave _colour of nail varnish! But _you _won't be wearing it, we'll put them all in a bag, and it'll be a complete pic 'n' mix! Bananas right! _

_Please RSVP! Otherwise, I might not get enough ingredients for the DIY facials!_

_Diddykins!_

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**A/N: Thanks for reading please read and review**


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